Let's Get Real

For the past few months I have been trying to figure out why I don't like writing blogs. I love reading them and trying to think of new ones, but when I get to the keyboard and I'm staring at a blank screen, my mind becomes just that...blank. I believe that I have found my answer! As I was getting ready today my epiphany came to me. I have been faking it the whole time. I have not been myself. I have tried to be the 'perfect' missionary, and they just don't exist. (Except in the District 2)

I am Not a Barbie! I am not a Stepford Missionary!

When I first set out to write a missionary blog I had an idea of what it would be: I would be real. It would be me.

But then I started looking at other blogs and tried to be like them. Not that those other blogs are bad by any means, they are just not me. And anytime I try to be like someone else, I get depressed because I move farther and farther away from the person/missionary that Heavenly Father wants 'ME' to be. I put on a facade and failed.

So this is my attempt to apologize to my readers and rectify my mistake. From now on this blog is me. My life. My mission. My story.

What has been happening in my life: I just found out that I have a Gluten Intolerance. My life has turned upside down! Just when I thought I had every thing under control...I get this thrown into the loop. I have been praying for years to be able to be healthier, I just didn't expect the answer to come this way.

I have been gluten free for about 3 weeks. It is really hard! I feel so much better when I don't eat gluten and I can feel like a human again, but see there is one tiny, little problem...This new found diagnosis takes a lot of time and effort to make the treatment work. I'm a missionary. I don't really have time for anything else. So then this wonderful test came along to make me realize that I don't have everything under control as I would like. Plus I feel like such a burden to the members that we eat dinner with every night, becuase they have to tell me exactly what they are cooking and read all the ingredients to me and if there is anything that I can't eat they either have to start from scratch or make me a seperate meal. I'M SORRY! :(

Life is interesting. And I'm greatful that Heavenly Father doesn't allow me to beome complacent in my day to day routine. I'm thankful that he throws in a few sour skittles to let me realize how sweet life can be.

To be continued...